Aikido teaches several principles that have direct implications to coaching and learning from feedback. The following list summarizes Aikido principles we can use in human relationships:

Know yourself. Be more self-aware.

Lead with harmony. Move with balance.

Respect the other person’s mind (energy).

See things from their point of view.

Blend with the opponent’s energy. Be flexible.

Do not counter with resistance.

Connect with your surroundings.

Extend your energy with confidence.

How can we apply the Aikido principles in day-to-day interactions? And, more importantly, how can these principles help us achieve better results?

Resisting feedback requires emotional energy. Rather than focusing on the goal of how the feedback will help us become better, our energy is wasted on resistance. We become weaker, rather than stronger, when we resist. Instead, we should focus our efforts on how best to use the energy (feedback). We should ask questions and listen to better understand our environment, what effect we have on those around us, and what effect they have on us. Accept the feedback with confidence, simultaneously respecting others’ points of view. As you act and blend in response to feedback, maintain balance. As you flex and bend in response to feedback, you remain in balance. As you learn and grow, you gain power and confidence.

When faced with a difficult and sensitive situation, it may take additional time to practice coaching using Aikido principles. However, if you ignore issues and plunge ahead assuming that others are on board, when they are in fact resisting, it will likely take a lot longer to recover. Leaders that practice coaching using Aikido principles can diffuse potential problems before they escalate. It also saves precious time in the long run.

“Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.”

~ Lao Tzu

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